200 billion trillion stars, but my god, I’m so lonely. Some days are harder than others, days pass as if they are minutes. On those days I open the window to hear sounds of people. I pull my body out in the clear night sky, fingers clenching the frame. Clenching so hard, lines in my palms take an elongated time to dissipate. All to hear sounds of people. The loneliness takes a stroll when the noise pierces my ears, it’s a comforting racket. But, a racket it remains.
Venus, planet of love. Did you ever feel loneliness? After the destruction of global warming. Were you used to then be thrown out? As I was? Did people want too much? Milked dry by those who gave nothing in return. I gaze at you each night, comforted, knowing someone feels as I do. You do feel the same way I do? Right?
And I don’t want your pity. I don’t write to make the empathy flow. I write to seek out those who feel the loneliness, the dark cloud encompassing us. Give me one good honest kiss. A kiss of something new, something that lightens the sky. One star, one light to guide my way to the sun. And I’ll be alright.
Nobody, Nobody, Nobody. No one gets it. Does no one share the feeling I do? The cold air hangs to my back in a group of people. Talking, laughing, whispering, being so close but too far. Nobody, Nobody, oh. This is it, the foreboding aura of abandonment. The abandonment of one’s self. The self destruction we mask, to pretend, to mask. I’ve been big and small. My obstacles so big, but so small to the stars. I then become big and small again. A process always repeating.
And still nobody wants me. Lost in myself I lose others. My thoughts encompass me to follow, leading me astray. And I know no one will save me. Not even the stars, not even Venus, who shares my affairs. All I need, all I ask, give me one good movie kiss. Ease the loneliness. And I’ll be alright for the night.
Nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Oh, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, no one will share a kiss, no one to ease the pain. The coldness in my heart. Will it be mine to carry until the end. Venus, did you find the answer? Give me an honest kiss, a good movie kiss. Just once.
Looking out my window, every night, seeing the stars. The 200 billion trillion stars, glimmering back at me. The universe engulfs me into the night, like being swaddled in a blanket as a child. Comforting as you lie there dreaming of the sweet things, before you knew of the dark. Before you got to know the dark. The pain in my palms disappears. All that’s left is the slight chill brought in with the wind. Closing my window, I lay for my momentary rest. Feeling so small, in the world around me.
Inspired by Mitski, “Nobody.”
Snake Vessel 